Written by: David Duchovny
Directed by: David Duchovny
Directed by: David Duchovny
Mulder is called to Assistant Director Skinner's office to be briefed about the bombing of the crypt of the church of Cardinal O'Fallon. Another man is present during the briefing, AD Skinner's explains that he has arranged for the man, Wayne Fetterman, an old friend of his who is making a film about the F.B.I. to join the investigation.
Mulder and Fetterman interview Cardinal O'Fallon and examine the crypt that was used to store religious relics. A ringing mobile phone leads to the discovery of a body amongst the rubble. The phone belongs to Micah Hoffman, a 1960's counter revolutionary. Scully joins Mulder and Fetterman at Hoffman's apartment, they discover bomb making equipment and evidence that Hoffman was forging religious texts, and could have been trying to pass these off as real to Cardinal O'Fallon.
Mulder and Fetterman return to discuss the matter with him, however while in the crypt Fetterman witnesses a skeleton form from scattered bones and work on a clay bowl. Later Scully tries to rationalise what he saw, but he has everything he needs for his film and leaves them to continue the investigation. Scully relates to Mulder the story of the Lazarus bowl, a clay bowl made at the time Christ raised Lazarus from the dead, that recorded his words in the clay and has the power to raise the dead. Scully gives the bowl to resident techie Chuck Burks, who discovers an Aramaic voice, that appears to be one man commanding another to rise from the dead.
Notes:While taking the bubblebaths, Scully tells Mulder that she thinks that both Téa Leoni and Gary Shandling have a crush on Mulder. Both are in-jokes: the first to the fact that Leoni and Duchovny are married; and the second to the fact that on the Larry Sanders Show, Larry Sanders, played by Garry Shandling, thought that David Duchovny had a crush on him.
Not only was Scully modelled on Jodie Foster's character in ''The Silence of the Lambs''; moreover, when Foster refused to continue the role in the sequel ''Hannibal'', Gillian Anderson was offered the part (which was finally played by Julianne Moore).Coincidently, Jodi Foster was the voice of the tattoo named "Betty" in ''Never Again''. Haven't found any evidence to support this, but have read the rumor that Jodi Foster did this work without pay.
Quotes:Skinner: Yesterday, a small pipe bomb ripped through the crypt of Christ's Church here in DC. There were no casualties, no thefts, no note making any demand.
Scully: Who's taking credit for it?
Skinner: Nobody.
Wayne Federman: (to recorder) She: Jodie Foster's foster child on a Payless budget. He's like a... Jehovah's Witness meets Harrison Ford's "Witness".
Scully: Uh, Christ's Church. Isn't that, uh, Cardinal O'Fallon's church?
Skinner: Yes. O'Fallon's residence is adjacent to the crypt.
Mulder: Who's Cardinal O'Fallon?
Wayne Federman: (to recorder) Cardinal 'Oh-fallen', perhaps. (His mobile rings)
Scully: Um... He's one of the most powerful men in the church today. His name often comes up as a possibility for the first American pope.
Mulder: Oh. I don't want to be myopic here, sir, but this looks like a straight up terrorist act for the ATF.
Wayne Federman: (to recorder) ''Myopic''.
Skinner: Yes, it does.
Mulder: (to Wayne Federman) Are you going to answer your phone?
Wayne Federman: Me?
Mulder: Yeah.
Wayne Federman: I didn't want to be rude.
Mulder: Sir, who the hell is this guy?
Wayne Federman: (answering phone) Hello?
Skinner: This is Wayne Federman. He's an old buddy of mine from college. He's a writer out in Hollywood now and he's working on an FBI-based movie. He's asked me to give him access.
Scully: A screenwriter?
Wayne Federman: It's actually... It's a writer-slash-producer.
Mulder: Couldn't sleep either, huh? Yeah. It's the Ed Wood investigative method. This movie is so profoundly bad in such a childlike way that it hypnotises my conscious critical mind and frees up my right brain to make associo-poetic leaps and I started flashing on Hoffman and O'Fallon. How there's this archetypal relationship, like Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's Judas, or Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's Dostoyevsky's Grand Inquisitor, or Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's St Paul. Scully: How about Hoffman's Roadrunner to O'Fallon's Wile E Coyote? Mulder...
Mulder: Yeah?
Scully: Do you think it's at all possible that Hoffman is really Jesus Christ?
Mulder: Are you making fun of me?
Scully: No.
Mulder: Well, no, I don't. But crazy people can be very persuasive.
Scully: Well, yes, I know that. Maybe true faith is really a form of insanity.
Mulder: Are you directing that at me?
Scully: No. I'm directing it at myself and at Ed Wood.
Mulder: Well, you know, even a broken clock is right 730 times a year.
Scully: How...?
Mulder: 42.
Scully: You've seen this movie 42 times?
Mulder: Yes.
Scully: Doesn't that make you sad? It makes me sad.
Mulder: You know, Scully, we've got four weeks probation vacation and nothing to do and Wayne Federman's invited us out to LA to watch his movie being filmed and God knows I could use a little sunshine. Scully...
Scully: California, here we come.
Mulder: Yeah?
Scully: Do you think it's at all possible that Hoffman is really Jesus Christ?
Mulder: Are you making fun of me?
Scully: No.
Mulder: Well, no, I don't. But crazy people can be very persuasive.
Scully: Well, yes, I know that. Maybe true faith is really a form of insanity.
Mulder: Are you directing that at me?
Scully: No. I'm directing it at myself and at Ed Wood.
Mulder: Well, you know, even a broken clock is right 730 times a year.
Scully: How...?
Mulder: 42.
Scully: You've seen this movie 42 times?
Mulder: Yes.
Scully: Doesn't that make you sad? It makes me sad.
Mulder: You know, Scully, we've got four weeks probation vacation and nothing to do and Wayne Federman's invited us out to LA to watch his movie being filmed and God knows I could use a little sunshine. Scully...
Scully: California, here we come.
Mulder: (answering phone) Hello? Scully: Hey, Mulder, it's me. What are you doing?
Mulder: I'm, uh, working at the, uh, computer. What are you doing?
Scully: I'm, uh, packing. Just, you know, getting ready for our trip back to DC tomorrow.
Mulder: You know, Scully, I was just thinking about Lazarus, Ed Wood, and those tofurkey-eating zombies. How come when people come back from the dead they always want to hurt the living?
Scully: Well, that's because people can't really come back from the dead, Mulder. I mean, ghosts and zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart — just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.
Mulder: Party pooper. Well, I got a new theory. I say that when zombies try to eat people, that's just the first stage. You see, they've just come back from being dead so they're going to do all the things they miss from when they were alive. So, first, they're going to eat, then they're going to drink, then they're going to dance and make love.
Scully: Oh, I see. So it's just that we never get to stay with them long enough to see the gentler side of the undead.
Mulder: Exactly. Hold on a second, that's my other line. (He switches lines to talk to Skinner) Hello?
Skinner: Agent Mulder, it's Assistant Director Skinner. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.
Mulder: No, sir, I'm just at the, uh, computer.
Skinner: Listen, I just wanted to apologise for coming down so hard on you during the Hoffman slash O'Fallon case.
Mulder: Oh. I appreciate that, Skinman.
Skinner: Don't call me that.
Mulder: Yes, sir. Um... Uh, where are you now?
Skinner: I'm right underneath you. I'm in LA, at the same hotel as you. Right below you and Agent Scully. Federman got me an Associate Producer credit on the movie.
Mulder: AP Skinner, huh? Uh... So what are you up to right now, sir?
Skinner: I'm taking a bubble bath.
Mulder: Uh, hold on just one second, sir. (He switches lines to talk to Scully) Hey, Scully, Skinman is calling me from a bubble bath.
Skinner: It's still me, Mulder.
Mulder: Uh, sir, well, hold on one second, sir. (He switches lines to talk to Skinner) Scully?
Scully: Yeah.
Mulder: Yeah, Skinner is calling me from a bubble bath.
Scully: Wow, he's really gone Hollywood.
Mulder: Totally.
Scully: You know, Mulder, speaking of Hollywood, I think that Téa Leoni has a little crush on you.
Mulder: Oh, yeah, right. Like Téa Leoni's ever going to have a crush on me.
Scully: I think that Shandling likes you a bit, too.
Mulder: Really?
Mulder: I'm, uh, working at the, uh, computer. What are you doing?
Scully: I'm, uh, packing. Just, you know, getting ready for our trip back to DC tomorrow.
Mulder: You know, Scully, I was just thinking about Lazarus, Ed Wood, and those tofurkey-eating zombies. How come when people come back from the dead they always want to hurt the living?
Scully: Well, that's because people can't really come back from the dead, Mulder. I mean, ghosts and zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart — just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.
Mulder: Party pooper. Well, I got a new theory. I say that when zombies try to eat people, that's just the first stage. You see, they've just come back from being dead so they're going to do all the things they miss from when they were alive. So, first, they're going to eat, then they're going to drink, then they're going to dance and make love.
Scully: Oh, I see. So it's just that we never get to stay with them long enough to see the gentler side of the undead.
Mulder: Exactly. Hold on a second, that's my other line. (He switches lines to talk to Skinner) Hello?
Skinner: Agent Mulder, it's Assistant Director Skinner. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.
Mulder: No, sir, I'm just at the, uh, computer.
Skinner: Listen, I just wanted to apologise for coming down so hard on you during the Hoffman slash O'Fallon case.
Mulder: Oh. I appreciate that, Skinman.
Skinner: Don't call me that.
Mulder: Yes, sir. Um... Uh, where are you now?
Skinner: I'm right underneath you. I'm in LA, at the same hotel as you. Right below you and Agent Scully. Federman got me an Associate Producer credit on the movie.
Mulder: AP Skinner, huh? Uh... So what are you up to right now, sir?
Skinner: I'm taking a bubble bath.
Mulder: Uh, hold on just one second, sir. (He switches lines to talk to Scully) Hey, Scully, Skinman is calling me from a bubble bath.
Skinner: It's still me, Mulder.
Mulder: Uh, sir, well, hold on one second, sir. (He switches lines to talk to Skinner) Scully?
Scully: Yeah.
Mulder: Yeah, Skinner is calling me from a bubble bath.
Scully: Wow, he's really gone Hollywood.
Mulder: Totally.
Scully: You know, Mulder, speaking of Hollywood, I think that Téa Leoni has a little crush on you.
Mulder: Oh, yeah, right. Like Téa Leoni's ever going to have a crush on me.
Scully: I think that Shandling likes you a bit, too.
Mulder: Really?
Highlights from ''Hollywood A.D.''Season NumBER: 7
First Aired: Sunday, April 30, 2000
Production Code: 7X18
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